A scratch sublime will get you time

A 60-year-old New Castle, Pennsylvania man had an itch while driving home after dropping his wife off at work.

We don't know exactly where the itch was on his body, or how expansive the area to be scratched. We do know that itch was acute.  How serious was the itch?  Serious enough that the man had to remove all of his clothing while trying to relieve himself...ah, scratch himself.

As Dennis Digia scratched his way through the streets of New Castle, a police officer saw him, and saw him, and saw him. It seems this itch interfered with Digia's sense of direction. He appeared to drive around his home for about an hour.  That is some serious chaffing.

Although it must have been pretty easy to get his clothes off while driving--apparently it is not as easy to put them back on while behind the wheel.

After his hour long romp--around the block--a police officer observed Digia dash "completely naked" from his car to his front porch, reported the New Castle News. When the officer approached the naked Digia he disclosed his "itch" problem and volunteered that "he was not looking for girls."

Obviously, circling the neighborhood for an hour without clothes "raised" a concern for Mr. Digia.